Because I have nothing else

Procrastination is probably my closest friend, I'm a sucker for a fool.

I really can't get a grasp on uni this year. It's relevant, interesting and stimulating, the parts I do read or listen to, but I presume I need my life sorted out before I can bother learning and remembering anything new. My minds racing again and it's all due to this song, rather these lyrics.

I took the car out the other night and i could've just kept going i fucking swear
100k's from home and i was so fucking free
but then i starting thinking twice and couldn't leave it all behind
sick to death of the same old things that i just can't leave behind


I'm trying to create a niche, but my hands just aren't enough, alone. There are people in this world who used to be my everything and I just don't know where it went wrong. I guess I too, want to take a car and just keep driving, and driving. I don't even know if I'd miss these things anymore. I've already been hurt, but it's my own fault. So called karma, or just revenge, prevents me from having what I really want. I'm nothing special, or so I've heard.

I should be doing uni work, but all I'm doing is trying to forget about her. I'm doing ok, but it's this lifeless afternoons that wouldn't be so lifeless if I just didn't fuck up again, and again...and again.