Wamp

Droppin' my zine in a week or two. Contains no surprises so don't bat your eyelids too hastily.

This will probably be in it...yo?

Well worn creases in soft back couches
show me I'm not the first, tell me I'm not alone
Watching girls of my dreams
flirt with the dream of a boy
Who I tried to be.
Too tight tee's feel all too wrong
and the palms will shift over last season's jeans
trying to be all that I can be in teen blue eyes

Chasing misread signals from passed out queens
(what's wrong with that)
Sitting up all night, please, please,
let me be someone's wrong number
let their words have no meaning
carry the conversation, tangled with lies
this phonebook is endless
this chord is powerful
lets so how many we can dial
before my breath rings out

I'm burning out like her favourite star

I'm going to grab a fistful of dollars, a few broken trends and play nba jam all night long in the bar. Heaven isn't waiting on this scumbag for much too longer.

time to speak

I'm ready to throw it all away and I don't even care.



It wasn't my choice.

lazy grass repeat three's

third or so blog today, in the space of two hours. My mind is completely and utterly fucked. It's most likely procrastination due to exams but my mind is seriously at 88 miles per hour and about to leave this hour of time into god knows what time is programmed into my mind. I'd take a shot at 2005 and be that kid who had a thousand issues with the world but had a friend he could talk to about anything and everything. Never crossing one serious topic but always on the right foot ready to be smile. I used to smile so hard and pretend it would work out. God fucking dammit. Lowest of the low. I wish they didn't have the power to wipe the smile from my face and leave me with hope and no opportunity.

1am meant so much

It's not that the words don't mean as much, it's just that we've lost the time, lost that moment, or realised we're on two very different paths that will never again cross over each other. I struggle most days, to be quite honest. Priorities, I could never grasp, and will probably never. My heart and mind are always operating under separate operations. Wires must be short circuiting, or never really aligned. I'll break everything I love, repeatedly and yearn for it when it's too late.

fall asleep on a dusty mattress
broken springs distorting broken dreams
wide awake, harking back to 'those' times
when I was young and alone
you kept my company
in a neat little box
beside your bed
full of this and that
I could only talk to you
and that's still so true
but it's hard to talk
without a voice
without the heart
without my dreams
that I took away myself
so leave me alone
and let me watch you grow up
into that girl I always knew you were
I care, I do.
so much.
I'm proud, i swear
you're becoming everything
I'm not

I'll watch her walk by
and I know she won't forget
but I know she'll pretend
that it's all the same
and it's too hard to care.
I won't blame you.
Things only as clear as you make them
so don't tumble down
over the road you cannot see
it's not so smooth
but you'll get by
pushing others to to the ground
and i'll still be watching
still wishing
that our paths can meet today

big skies rain hard

drink your wine
and take your time
roll your eyes, again
and kiss me 'cos i'm late.

Activity 5.1

All the words just lost all meaning. Could no longer be articulated and deciphered to produce any real meaning. My textbook decided it no longer deserved me, ignoring it and whatnot.

Thursday night, St Kilda Library and I'm stuck on Introductory Accounting. Lets just be thankful I'll only ever have an introduction and won't be invited back to dinner, attend any weddings or panic when I can't remember birthdays. A blissful introductory acquaintance with a friend I could do without.

Sitting with the rejects, like myself, who depend on free internet, living arrangements which don't quite meet up with their own home's standards and the water chiller that's at such a purposeful height. It's more of a den for the strangers to meet at, ultimately how they would have twenty or so years ago when the air was more sweeter and opportunities were just that. Conversations erupt that could never be categorised by the dewey-decimal system or placed neatly on a shelf. But like these books, capture the imagination and the ear.

I know what tomorrow is. I tried, at least one could say. I really wish turning my back would actually happen. But I get to greedy and it's a perpetual lingering that tastes so sweet but clear to all but myself, burns when you expect it to rise. I really wish I could forget your name, or just believe that I did.

don't take this the wrong way

Like cutlery on teeth
I want to be your ongoing distraction
in my head
but not my arms
in your head
but not your heart