Lost My Faith

Somehow, somewhere we're all paddling downstream
and I don't mean to alarm you,
but captain, captain,
we're full of desperation,
and we're sinking now more than ever.
The icy water swallows me whole,
but I can't bear to swallow the truth,
that it's colder than you ever were.
I was wrong.
In the dark sea I just couldn't grasp,
that on this night of anywhere,
I could be so lonely
when I'm completely surrounded
and faced with so many choices.
But you haunt my final memories.
This is no way to die,
I'm thinking about how to save 'us'
when I'm stuck myself.
January never felt so cold
I don't think this is right,
don't be stupid
you drove me here,
and I thought you'd climb on back,
but you turned away when I did to
and I was merely playing a game
come chase me back,
come hear me now.
I'm waiting for your hand
pull me from this wet grave.
Your voice chills me greater
than this sea could ever try.

Open Field (Track Two)

Across my chest you scrawled to say you loved him
I heard it from your lips you told him I was yesterday's news
A distant memory lingering out of sight.
My breaths have no weight anymore
And I'm on my last pack
A quick hit from a cheap pleasure
I only get smiles from morning vendors
Packet glistens as I grasp at the pack
I'll blow my hopes away and wish I had no dreams left lingering
Wasting time was never right said my father
He would be proud, if he bothered to care.

I often take liberties with these musings, don’t forget. This isn’t new, or possibly even captivating. I don’t mind, since the offset is I’m finally finding myself and for the first time I seem to truly mean it. This is simply a reminder that I set out to put out a zine, a collaboration with friends, but there were distractions and hiccups that proved to be too great to ignore. Someday this will eventuate but until then this will have to suffice. I’m finding it hard to ignore her, but each day that I do I continue to smile. My favourite memories of ‘us’ are the ones I’ve planned for and will never get to show you.

This comes off creepy, even second best, but I just want to be a friend you can hold. I'll turn off the light and somehow become embraced in a conversation of no real relevance, nor importance, but believe me; every word will mean more to me than these.

I remember when my shoulders weren't burdened with the weight of the world. I want exactly what we had before I met her.

Other Desires

I presume all my tribulations are exacerbated, and it’s neither devious nor cunning, but simply manifested out of pure frustration. Memories are forever ingrained upon us and success, to me, would be determined by how you operated under these qualms. To endure static memories of unspeakable happenings will undoubtedly be my downfall. I’m a failure in dealing with what was once reality; a cornucopia of disgruntled moments are simply spent trying to ignore these instances.

I find this ironic.

I believe the best things in life are yet to occur; well at least I sit tight and hope as my dreams could fill your heart, and more.

Interviews soon?

Journey

I can't sleep when I know I'm not nearly finished with this day.


I really don't know at times, and I'd be lying if I said I really don't care. There are times, like tonight, when I'll let the most minimal of moments of possible opportunity enter my head and make me become simply useless. Focus is a commodity I'm lacking and it's so far out of reach at this present moment. I'm not ready to care, but I could try, if she would simply reply.